Q: I’m 28 years old and live in the Midwest. I’m intersex, but I identify as female. I’m not out about being born intersex. Due to surgeries and hormones, I look like a fairly attractive female. I’ve been hanging out with a chill hetero guy, and things are getting very flirty. Is it unethical of me to not disclose my intersex-ness to him? —In New Terrific Erotic Romance
So that chill hetero boy you’re thinking about disclosing your intersex-ness to, INTER? He could be intersex himself and not know it. But you do know it. Does that obligate you to disclose?
“There’s no reason for her to feel like she has to announce, ‘I’m an intersex woman.’ She could opt to say, at some point, ‘I was born with congenital adrenal hyperplasia,’ or ‘I was born with androgen insensitivity syndrome,’ or whatever her specific condition might be, and then answer his questions,” said Dreger. “If the label ‘intersex’ were part of her core identity—a critical part of who she feels she is—then she might want to tell him early on. But otherwise, she can disclose things just like non-intersex people do with regard to fertility, sexual health, sexual sensation, sexual preferences, and sexual function—at a pace and in a way that promotes a good relationship and makes you feel honest and understood. And no one can tell her she has to use term ‘intersex.’ That’s entirely up to her.”
Q: What are your favorite uses for the butt plug besides putting it in your own butt or someone else’s butt? —Fun Faggy Question
A: Congrats on your wedding, BRIDLE, and thanks for a lovely note—one that may give hope to kink-discordant couples everywhere. Perfect fits, sexually speaking, are rare. But whip a little GGG into the mix, and that imperfect fit can become a perfect match! v
