Q: I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexual compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sex—both giving and receiving. I didn’t get a blow job the whole time we were together. Which brings me to why I am writing: One of my closest friends, “Sam,” is a gay guy. Shortly after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was discussing my lack of oral sex with him and he said he’d be willing to “help me out.” I agreed, and Sam gave me an earth-shattering blow job. I was glad to get some and had no hang-ups about a guy sucking me. Since then, Sam has blown me three more times. My problem is I am starting to feel guilty and worry I am using Sam. He’s a very good buddy, and I’m concerned this lopsided sexual arrangement might be bad for our friendship. Sam knows I am not into guys and I’m never going to reciprocate, and I feel like this is probably not really fair to him. But these are literally the only blow jobs I’ve received since I was a teenager. What should I do? —Totally Have Reservations Over Advantage Taking
And that’s why I wrote you back, THROAT, asked you for Sam’s contact information, and offered to ask Sam on your behalf. I wasn’t serious—it was my way of saying, “You should really ask Sam.” But you sent me Sam’s contact info, and a few minutes later I was chatting with him.
“I didn’t know until after he broke up with his girlfriend that he hadn’t gotten a blow job the whole time they were together—four years!” Sam said. “When I told him I’d be happy to help him out, I was joking. I swear I wasn’t making a pass at my straight friend! But there was this long pause, and then he got serious and said he’d be into it. I wondered for a minute if it would be weird for me to blow my friend, and there was definitely a bit of convincing each other that we were serious. When he started taking his clothes off, I thought, ‘So this is going to happen.’ It was not awkward after. We even started joking about it right away.”
I had one last question: Sam is really good at sucking cock—he gives “earth-shattering” blow jobs—but is THROAT any good at getting his cock sucked? As all experienced cocksuckers know, a person can suck at getting his cock sucked: he can just lay/stand/sit there, giving you no feedback, or be too pushy or not pushy enough, etc.
More Savage Love:
Don’t be the Florence Nightingale of oral sex
Fed-up wife seeks enthusiastic oral
A: You did nothing wrong. And if after hearing your side of the story, NOTBI, your mutual friends side with a person who pressured you to do something you were clear about not wanting to do and then, after you restated your opposition to performing said act, pressured you to perform the act—by physically forcing your head down to his cock—you can solve the “mutual friends” problem by cutting these so-called friends out of your life. v
